I'm going back to work. After a lot of thinking, conversations with family and friends and crunching numbers over and over I have decided it's worth going back. My main concern of course is Marley. Will she be happy? Will she adjust well? If she doesn't then all bets are off.
I received a phone call last week from one of the daycares that I thought would be best for Marley. They called to say they have an opening starting November 6th. We decided to visit again that afternoon. Marley made herself at home. She was having so much fun playing. We were there for close to an hour and Marley pitched a fit when it was time to leave. It certainly made me feel better that Marley enjoyed being there. Now, I have not dropped her off and left. My heart is going to break if she cries when I leave. Then again my heart might break if she doesn't cry when I leave. Monday is going to be a tough day. I have worked it so that I am only working 3 hours Monday and Tuesday. Four hours Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I will only be working 6 hours 5 times a week, so we will begin the final schedule the following Monday.
Today we will be visiting again, this time for their Halloween party. We will go back on Friday so I can make sure I have all my ducks in a row and another period of time where Marley can get used to te surroundings.
It will be an adjustment. One that I feel will be good in the long run. If that changes then all bets are off and I stay home again. The daycare is 15 minutes from my home and work. I will miss her terribly. Then again I feel a little guilty for really looking forward being back in an office, using a part of my brain that is in need of a fine tune up and talking to grown ups for a straight 6 hour period. I am looking forward to not changing diapers in a 6 1/2 hour period. Let's see that would be about 3-4 diapers a day. Oh my goodness, that's 15-20 diapers a week! Those are great perks but I will miss her terribly.
Wish me luck and stay tuned to the updates next week.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Why do these things happen to me? Just in time for Halloween.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am petrified of snakes, lizards and frogs. Although I do not like spiders I do not have the same fear as the 3 previously mentioned. I have stories that will make your skin crawl and yes these have happened to me. I don't know anyone else who has as many creepy crawly experiences except for maybe the late Steve Irwin.
Story #1- One of Jocelyn's most embarrassing moments. I was hiking on the Appalachian trail one day, by myself. It was a beautiful Indian summer day in October/November. I had on a pair of shorts, a t-shirt, and a flannel button down shirt. As I was hiking I got hot so I took the flannel shirt off and wrapped it around my waist. I was about half way to my destination, a small lodge for the Appalachian Trail hikers, when I happened to look down and I saw a snake and this snake was not black, the first thing that went through my mind was it's a copperhead. I panicked and started running. I then heard something behind me a sound that resembled a snake slithering at an amazing speed. I started screaming for help. Ok, I'm in the woods several miles at this point from any road and probably anything human. I am panicking like I have never panicked before in my life. Finally, reality set in and I remembered a nature show that I once saw about snakes. There is only one snake in the whole world that will chase you and I believe it lives only in Australia. So what could be chasing me I looked behind me and in the midst of my delerioum I got a stick stuck to the bottom of my stupid flannel shirt. What I heard was the stick dragging on the ground. I took that stick off my shirt and threw it as far as I could, uttering a few curse words, and was very thankful there were no humans around.
Story #2- I lived in Jacksonville, FL for a summer with my Father when I was in college. The apartment that my Father was renting was right next to a stream. Beautiful, yes, but that stream attracted frogs of all kinds. I worked as a hostess at a chain restaraunt so I came home late many, many nights. My Father was nice enough to turn on the outside light before he went to bed. I appreciated it except for the fact that the light attracted bugs and the bugs attracted frogs. I came home one night and there were literally a hundred frogs stuck to the door, the door handle, etc. I promply left, found a pay phone and called my Father. I felt bad that I woke him up but he was happy to save me. The next day he bought me a flash light and we never turned on the outside light again.
Story #3-Last year I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Marley. Every parent knows how wonderful, yet trying the first few weeks can be and Mother's know that raging hormones, lack of sleep is a terrible combination. For me, my life also threw in a lizard. I was sitting on the couch nursing Marley one afternoon and noticed that Cherise was very interested in something in the dining room. My first thought was, it's a mouse or a spider. Then Cherise darted into the living room and was just going nuts over an end table. I realized what ever it was it had moved into the living room in an attempt to get away. The next thing I know both Rubin and Cherise are pouncing on something in the middle of the living room floor. Marley had finished nursing, so I put her down on the couch and walked over to see what it was. It was a LIZARD!!!!!! It was injured but it was still trying to save himself, he darted towards the couch. I shrieked, and ran half way up the steps. Now this lizard was between me and my daughter. What to do, what to do!? I jumped off the stairs, ran into the laundry room and found a bucket and placed it over the lizard. Marley and I spent the rest of the day in the bedroom, with the door closed until hubby came home.
The next day I was sitting on the couch on the phone with my brother telling him the story. At this point I was laughing about it and really happy the previous day was over. I had not been off the phone with my brother for even a minute when I saw another lizard climbing up the side of the couch. I called hubby and asked him if he could come home. Thankfully he was 2 minutes from the house. Needless to say he saved his girls from the icky, creepy lizard.
Story #4-Today. Yes today. Our house, as cute as it is it has a few architcural querks. The front door is a sliding glass door that does not lock. We put a shower curtain rod down between the door jam and the glass so no one can come in when we are not home. This means we have to walk behind the house and enter through the back door. No big deal until today. Marley and I just came home from our playgroup. As I was walking towards the back door I noticed something moving towards my feet and moving very quickly. It was a black snake!!!!!!!! If I had not moved the damn thing would have slithered over my foot, and I have flip flops on. How am I supposed to go to the grocery store later. I have to lock up the house but that means I have to walk around the side of the house again. Somehow I am going to have to find the courage. I can say that NEVER will I walk to the back of the house again in the dark.
Happy Halloween!
Story #1- One of Jocelyn's most embarrassing moments. I was hiking on the Appalachian trail one day, by myself. It was a beautiful Indian summer day in October/November. I had on a pair of shorts, a t-shirt, and a flannel button down shirt. As I was hiking I got hot so I took the flannel shirt off and wrapped it around my waist. I was about half way to my destination, a small lodge for the Appalachian Trail hikers, when I happened to look down and I saw a snake and this snake was not black, the first thing that went through my mind was it's a copperhead. I panicked and started running. I then heard something behind me a sound that resembled a snake slithering at an amazing speed. I started screaming for help. Ok, I'm in the woods several miles at this point from any road and probably anything human. I am panicking like I have never panicked before in my life. Finally, reality set in and I remembered a nature show that I once saw about snakes. There is only one snake in the whole world that will chase you and I believe it lives only in Australia. So what could be chasing me I looked behind me and in the midst of my delerioum I got a stick stuck to the bottom of my stupid flannel shirt. What I heard was the stick dragging on the ground. I took that stick off my shirt and threw it as far as I could, uttering a few curse words, and was very thankful there were no humans around.
Story #2- I lived in Jacksonville, FL for a summer with my Father when I was in college. The apartment that my Father was renting was right next to a stream. Beautiful, yes, but that stream attracted frogs of all kinds. I worked as a hostess at a chain restaraunt so I came home late many, many nights. My Father was nice enough to turn on the outside light before he went to bed. I appreciated it except for the fact that the light attracted bugs and the bugs attracted frogs. I came home one night and there were literally a hundred frogs stuck to the door, the door handle, etc. I promply left, found a pay phone and called my Father. I felt bad that I woke him up but he was happy to save me. The next day he bought me a flash light and we never turned on the outside light again.
Story #3-Last year I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Marley. Every parent knows how wonderful, yet trying the first few weeks can be and Mother's know that raging hormones, lack of sleep is a terrible combination. For me, my life also threw in a lizard. I was sitting on the couch nursing Marley one afternoon and noticed that Cherise was very interested in something in the dining room. My first thought was, it's a mouse or a spider. Then Cherise darted into the living room and was just going nuts over an end table. I realized what ever it was it had moved into the living room in an attempt to get away. The next thing I know both Rubin and Cherise are pouncing on something in the middle of the living room floor. Marley had finished nursing, so I put her down on the couch and walked over to see what it was. It was a LIZARD!!!!!! It was injured but it was still trying to save himself, he darted towards the couch. I shrieked, and ran half way up the steps. Now this lizard was between me and my daughter. What to do, what to do!? I jumped off the stairs, ran into the laundry room and found a bucket and placed it over the lizard. Marley and I spent the rest of the day in the bedroom, with the door closed until hubby came home.
The next day I was sitting on the couch on the phone with my brother telling him the story. At this point I was laughing about it and really happy the previous day was over. I had not been off the phone with my brother for even a minute when I saw another lizard climbing up the side of the couch. I called hubby and asked him if he could come home. Thankfully he was 2 minutes from the house. Needless to say he saved his girls from the icky, creepy lizard.
Story #4-Today. Yes today. Our house, as cute as it is it has a few architcural querks. The front door is a sliding glass door that does not lock. We put a shower curtain rod down between the door jam and the glass so no one can come in when we are not home. This means we have to walk behind the house and enter through the back door. No big deal until today. Marley and I just came home from our playgroup. As I was walking towards the back door I noticed something moving towards my feet and moving very quickly. It was a black snake!!!!!!!! If I had not moved the damn thing would have slithered over my foot, and I have flip flops on. How am I supposed to go to the grocery store later. I have to lock up the house but that means I have to walk around the side of the house again. Somehow I am going to have to find the courage. I can say that NEVER will I walk to the back of the house again in the dark.
Happy Halloween!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
decisions...desicions
This past year has been the most incredible time in my life. I gave birth to a fabulous little girl and have had the joy of being able (barely) to stay home with her this past year. I was planning on taking my 3 month maternity leave from work and put Marley in daycare. The area where I live has a shortage in daycare facilities and, I say thankfully, I never found an opening anywhere. Not that I would have put my beautiful daughter in any place just because they had an opening. So, now a year has gone by and I am contemplating reentering the work force and becoming the American working Mom. My old employer is hiring for a part time position which will turn to full time once the real estate market turns. It is not an easy decision. There are pros and cons on both sides.
The pros:
-Marley will have an amazing amount of socialization, she gets so excited when she sees other kids. Daycare will provide her the socialization that I can't even with our once a week Mommy & Me group.
-Financially-Yes we do need the extra cash. Money is very tight and the savings are dwindling.
-My career- I have not really lost the edge yet.
-I will be able to have adult conversation almost all day long! (Not a real priority on the pros).
-The job is only 6 hours a day 5 times a week.
The cons:
-Marley will be in daycare all day and not with me. This tears at my heart strings.
-I will have to dish out $145/week for someone else to look after my child.
-It's 30 hours a week that I will not be with Marley.
So as you see the pros are greater than the cons or maybe I am trying to be too optimistic about this decision. My heart will ache now or when she's 5 and goes off to Kindergarten. I do need to make sure that it is ultimatley the right decision for Marley. So here is how it stands. The daycare I really wanted for Marley last year has 2 openings coming up. No, they can not tell me when. It could be 2 weeks it could be 2 months+. My previous employer said that they can hold the position open for me for awhile. Very nice of them to do that but I do not expect them to hold it open forever. I have decided to pursue this as we do need the money but I have decided to keep all my options open and if for any reason Marley is miserable at daycare or things just are not working out I can quit right? Right.
The funny thing about all of this is that one day I am very excited about going back to work and the next day I am terrified of leaving Marley. There doesn't really seem to be a right decision just a decision that needs to be made in light of the circumstance. So, we will see. If it's meant to be than it will happen and everyone will be happy. If it's not meant to be then well....we'll reach that road of it ever come up.
The pros:
-Marley will have an amazing amount of socialization, she gets so excited when she sees other kids. Daycare will provide her the socialization that I can't even with our once a week Mommy & Me group.
-Financially-Yes we do need the extra cash. Money is very tight and the savings are dwindling.
-My career- I have not really lost the edge yet.
-I will be able to have adult conversation almost all day long! (Not a real priority on the pros).
-The job is only 6 hours a day 5 times a week.
The cons:
-Marley will be in daycare all day and not with me. This tears at my heart strings.
-I will have to dish out $145/week for someone else to look after my child.
-It's 30 hours a week that I will not be with Marley.
So as you see the pros are greater than the cons or maybe I am trying to be too optimistic about this decision. My heart will ache now or when she's 5 and goes off to Kindergarten. I do need to make sure that it is ultimatley the right decision for Marley. So here is how it stands. The daycare I really wanted for Marley last year has 2 openings coming up. No, they can not tell me when. It could be 2 weeks it could be 2 months+. My previous employer said that they can hold the position open for me for awhile. Very nice of them to do that but I do not expect them to hold it open forever. I have decided to pursue this as we do need the money but I have decided to keep all my options open and if for any reason Marley is miserable at daycare or things just are not working out I can quit right? Right.
The funny thing about all of this is that one day I am very excited about going back to work and the next day I am terrified of leaving Marley. There doesn't really seem to be a right decision just a decision that needs to be made in light of the circumstance. So, we will see. If it's meant to be than it will happen and everyone will be happy. If it's not meant to be then well....we'll reach that road of it ever come up.
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